The other day I posted that
I had received life changing news. Some of you know me in person. Lots of you I've never met. So unless you know me personally, you don’t know how short I am, or
how far I am from being a size 0. So what is my life changing news? In order to
get to that you need to know my story.
Most of you know I was
born in Costa Rica but brought to the US when I was 9 months old. According to
my parents when I was born I could not tolerate any kind of milk. You name it
they tried it and I just kept throwing it up. My stomach would not hold anything
down. So as I was slowly wasting away my grandmother suggested giving me
diluted condensed milk. Well wouldn't you know it, it worked. Have you seen the
nutrition facts on a can of condensed milk????? One cup has 982 calories, 27
grams of fat, 166 grams of carbohydrates, and 166 grams of sugar.
YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! To this day I have the biggest sweet tooth ever and
thus my life with obesity began.
Now in no way do I blame
my parents for my weight problems. They did the best they could to try to keep
me alive after trying all kinds of milk to no avail and desperation kicked in. Although
growing up we were given pretty much anything we wanted to eat. Nutrition was
not a factor back then. Being Hispanic meant food was involved in every situation.
I remember the day I started my menstrual cycle. How did we celebrate? My mom
bought me a Big Mac. NO joke! I never
knew what it was like to grow up poor and with nothing to eat. On the contrary
there was always an over indulgent amount of food ranging from soda and burgers to
filet de mignon and lobster. Sometimes so much we’d say, “Not lobster again.” I know, I know, spoiled brats! I grew up
loving food! I turned into an emotional eater and ever since I could
remember I've been overweight.
I was always a chubby kid.
My elementary and middle school years were not so bad. I really never got
teased for my weight. At home though I did get labeled “La Gorda.” (The chubby
or fat one). Now as Hispanics it’s used as an endearing nickname but words have
power and so I grew up being "GORDA." Now once again I am not blaming anyone. I
guess it was just a series of situations and factors of how I used food to cope
with traumatic events growing up that don’t need to be mentioned here. Being a teenager was the worst. At a time when
one is so self-conscious being overweight is the last thing you want as a girl.
I was so incredibly shy, painfully shy and so insecure. I hated high school
with a passion. It was not something I look back on with fond memories.
At the age of 18 the
dieting cycle started. Yo- yo dieting, I’m the queen of yo- yo dieting. I've been on every diet you can think of, from slim fast, to phen-phen pills, Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, Atkins,
Acu-pressure, rattlesnake pills (which cleared up my acne as a teen by the way), teas,
protein shakes, you name it, this chunky chic tried it. Only once in my life
did I actually look somewhat thin. I was around 22 yrs old, was doing the phen-phen pills, drinking these shakes and pretty much starving myself. I looked good,
but ask me how long I stayed that way, not to mention mal-nourished? About a
year and then the weight started creeping back up. At that time I met someone
and got married. Ah marriage. That’s another story. That’s when my weight
started getting out of control. Men, be careful what you say to women words
have power as I've already mentioned. Words can sometimes hurt more than anything else. Women, make sure
you know absolutely everything about the man you're thinking about marring before you say “I do!”
Don’t be afraid to ask questions and dive into they’re past. Men you need to do
the same thing too. Wow, if I would have known what I found out years later, or
maybe even suspected but turned a blind eye to what I know now. Honey let me
tell ya. Things would have been so much better. Single people don’t rush into
anything. God is writing your love story and my future new one. So let Him do
the picking for you.
During and after my
pregnancy I gained a whole lot of weight. I am only 4 ft 10 and I ballooned up
to 270 lbs. Huge for a shorty like me! That made marriage even worse. After a
while I lost a lot of the weight, but never enough to a healthy skinny weight. Thus
the above mentioned diets began. After six years of marriage I got divorced. My
yo-yo dieting continued. Never quite being successful. At one point around two
yrs ago I was doing a good job. I felt like I was going to make it, but never
quite did. These past two yrs the weight has been really getting out of control
along with my blood pressure and joint pain.
So what is my life changing
news? After all of this rambling? I love to write. (I have an amazing friend overseas
that can probably tell you how many times I’ve inundated his in-box with long messages).
In order to tell you my news, bare with me a little bit more.
Ever since I could
remember I have prayed for God to help me lose weight. Yes, I have griped and complained
and have questioned God. Have you ever earnestly prayed for something, only to
have your prayer seemingly unnoticed? We can understand why God won’t
answer prayers for things that are selfish or immoral. But it’s often hard to
understand why it seems like our heartfelt, well-intentioned, prayer has gone
unanswered. I have learned that God wants to get the glory out of your story. Regardless
to what we may think, God knows what is best for us in any given situation. He
tells us in Proverbs 3:6 That in all of our ways to acknowledge Him, and He
shall direct our paths. He does so because first of all He made us. The bible
also says that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. There is a reason to all
of this which I still do not comprehend 100%, but I know God has everything
planned out for my good.
One morning I woke up with
really bad back pain. This continued for about four days. I had a routine
doctor’s apt coming up that I was actually going to cancel but decided to go to
because my back was bothering me so much. That day I did not see my regular
doctor. I had been scheduled to see someone else. (God’s plan in action) I told
the doctor about the pain and she looked at me and said, “Priscilla, it’s the
weight. You are too overweight. I’m looking at your medical ID picture on the
computer here and you don’t look the same. In the past year you've gained 40 lbs.”
I had never been confronted about my weight by a doctor like she confronted me that day and gave it to me straight the way she did. She asked me then, “Have you ever
considered bariatric surgery?” Considered it I had hoped and prayed for it for
years! I tried bringing it up with my regular doctor previously and she
shrugged it off and made it seem like something impossible for the insurance to
cover. I told her that and she said, “You just have to know how to word the
referral.” I cried in the office as I spoke with her. I said, “Finally, someone
is listening to me.” Now, I know God had been listening to me all along. He
always does. But we always want things how we want it and when we want it. We
are such impatient creatures. But God loves us just the same. That day I felt
as if God was looking down on me smiling saying, “See my daughter, I have
everything under control. Everything from your future, to your weight.”
Now the next step was
praying that the insurance approved the referral. Bariatric surgery is not
cheap! It can cost up to $35,000. Ouch! Maybe some of you might have that
laying around in your bank account, but I don’t. Not yet. I have to reiterate that Bariatric surgery is in no
means an easy way out for losing weight. It’s a tool for people like me that
for years (I’m 44) have been desperately trying to lose weight, have failed and
have acquired some medical issues because of it along the way. It is not for
everyone. I prayed really hard that night. I said, “Lord if this is your will,
then please have my insurance approve the referral and have them pay for
everything.” I expected several weeks to go by as we all know referrals take forever.
In just four days I got a call from my doctor’s office saying the referral was
approved. JUST FOUR DAYS! I jumped up
and down, gave a big hallelujah shout and praised the Lord with a smile from ear
to ear. Thus all the preliminary testing began. My insurance has paid for
everything. Let me tell you, there is a lot of testing from physical to psychological,
to support groups and seminars.
So I bet you've guessed what my
life changing news was the other day. I finally got the call for a surgery date. On February 6 I will have bariatric surgery. The one I am
having done is The Gastric Sleeve. Once again I cried that day. I was so overwhelmed with joy and all sorts of emotions. I have prayed about this and said. “Lord at
any time if this is not your will stop the process.” At the last seminar I went
to I found out that my surgeon Dr. Dada (cute huh) is 100% Christian. Wow! I
have seen God’s hand on this every step of the way. Join me on my journey by
keeping me in prayer as my weight loss begins. Hopefully soon I will be brave
enough to post before and after pictures. Love you all!
